Having lived in a sexless marriage for over seven years I have decided to be more assertive in encouraging/telling my wife to visit a doctor for a hormonal balance test and possible progression to treatment.

Does anybody have any advice/experiences to share on the impact of hormone treatment on their sex life? Is this a fruitful path to pursue?

Thanks in advance.

 

It kicks the "nagging bitch" gene into high gear.

 

how old is she

 

also is she on the pill or coil for contraception?

 

Hi Devour My Pussy - she is 43 and not on contraception. No sex, no need.

She has never had a sex drive or responsive body - to the point she doesn't miss sex at all so can't see anything is wrong.

 

It must be hard for you (excuse the pun), evening primrose oil capsules are a hormone balancer it sounds like she is lacking in testostrone, i would try her on a high dose of that, its a good supplement good for hair, skin and hormones

 

Hi I am in a similar position my relationship has been sexless for about a year so I have been getting my sex talk etc on here... I have had a bi sexual exoerience with a gay friend but my partner doesnt know

 

Thanks for the suggestion, I'll pick up the primrose oil at the weekend x

And yes, let's put it this way, my left hand certainly gets regular exercise

 

no worries happy to try and help

 

After many medical issues and a hysterectomy and 6 years of Dr visits and no sex at all my wife has just started taking testosterone cream. We have struggled. I haven't pushed her, she know how frustrated I have been. We are hopeful that this will help. I miss sex and really miss my wife. I will keep you posted.

 

Thanks for the message seafoam1. I really hope you have found a solution and can start to rebuild your physical relationship.

Any updates would be much appreciated.

 

Short story, HRT works extremely well IF it is a hormone issue....If not the same hormone that will inspire a sex drive will instead inspire many more problems.

In my own case I went from 30 years of hating sex for good reason to having my life change so dramatically that I desired it and could finally explore not only my own sexuality but also learn to enjoy it. Add to that being in a positive hypersexual environment, and I had opportunity to discover sex and myself to infinite degrees......2 years into that, much of the first year just trying to recalibrate my head, the second beginning to learn and and enjoy sex, wham, almost instant menopause and along with that came zero desire for sex.

So, just as I'm learning to enjoy it and finally wanting it, I lose it.....Talk about the major raw deal huh at 32 years old no less right when i should be peaking.

Estrogen on its own though helping with hot flashes and the like made me nothing short of some placid apathetic cow......However, a little bit of testosterone helped a lot, and once i took it up to 300mg a day vs. the 50-100 they were initially giving me.....Holy smokes, new world in spades.

Add to that some other things I had done, and I've been a new person for the last 18 years (coming up on 50).

HRT can help a lot.....However, you must push them to get the physicians to think past their "grow old gracefully" attitude in that most female doctors frankly get an attitude as in "you had your time" thinning out the competition, and most male I think must have some inner voice saying to them "what if this was your mom?"

It can turn back the clock though if needed along with testosterone helping on weight loss, lean muscle growth, and supposedly some cancer issues.

Hush....an alias

 

Thank you Hush. Point well made and taken that HRT efficacy is reliant on it being a hormone-based issue.

I accept that HRT wouldn't solve psychological or relationship issues but have come to the conclusion that physical factors are the most important in this case.

Thanks too for sharing your experiences. So HRT does work, albeit with caveats. My main difficulty will be to persuade my wife to visit the doctor and get the ball rolling...

But wow, 32 is so young for the menopause...what rough luck.

 

Yup ! I get that one. I hope it all works out for you. do keep us posted and Good luck !

 

7 years is the standard end of sex in a marriage. Cohabitation = captivity etc.

But it sounds like she is frigid and doesn't see that as a problem.
Such is the goddess of feminism, is it not?

 

Ouch, I felt that.

If it's any consolation Gemma, my previous partner was very sexual and into being dominated so feminism and kinky sex are not mutually exclusive.

 

Hey Rothko,

We corresponded several months ago and it looks like little has changed since for either of us. I do hope a miracle can happen for you someday.

 

My wife had heavy bleeding and irregular periods in her early 50s. She was advised to have a uterine ablation (spelling?) to remove her uterine lining, a sort of hysterectomy without the surgery, is my understanding. She was happy to not have periods any more. However, her sex drive has disappeared and it has not done anything for her night sweats and sleepless nights. She tosses and turns like a fish in the bottom of your boat at night, and we need to wash sheets and pajamas every few days because of her night sweats. I love her dearly, but this has been very hard on our relationship --- we used to have date nights at home with 4 hour love making sessions, but now she has no desire and avoids me. And her mood (and probably mine as well) has soured. When we do make love, she has real difficulty reaching orgasm (I will do anything to help her, by the way---toys, tongue, hours of massage and tickling to help) so when we do have sex, it usually is her taking one for the team, which is very unusual for us based on our past history. It makes me sad. Both the frequency and quality of our lovemaking has greatly diminished. I thought to myself (I did not want to share with her and hurt her feelings) is this it? Is my wife so old that our sex life is highly compromised or done, as we used to know it? Is this why older men find younger women attractive ---because they have not yet hit menopause? I do not want a much younger woman. I love my wife dearly & if she were gone I'd want somebody close to my age. I talked to my Dad about this and he said: don't worry ---she'll go crazy for awhile, but it only lasts for about ten years. This was not comforting news.

I do not want to sound like an uncaring partner. I have supported my wife through multiple medical interventions. Doctors have recommended hormone replacement therapy (HRT), but my wife has a mother and sister who have had post-menopausal breast cancer and I would prefer to have my wife alive and healthy.

Other women --- please tell me your experiences. What have you tried that has worked for you and your partner(s).

 

Since you say she's never had a sex drive or been responsive, do know if she has had orgasms, ever? Has she ever masturbated?

 

I would try seeing a naturopath or someone who specializes in hormone replacement.
It's not something you want to fool around with.
Just starting on some cream, capsules, remedies might land you in a worse place . It's not a joke, this stuff.
You would have to do some blood work first to establish her current levels of testosterone,
Estrogen, progesterone, all that crazy stuff.
And I mean CRAZY stuff.

I was put on hormone replacement after breast cancer treatment, too and it made everything worse for me.
Took a good two years to get everything regular again. So don't despair...but know this is not something to play around with on your own.

Xx